How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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