How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize