He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I can't turn off my feet"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
