just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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