we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
