I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
