I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
