I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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