Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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