I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
