You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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