i think my mom watched the whole time
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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