I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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