Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
