i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
