Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
