my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
