seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
