from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
