I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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