Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
