Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We're using joints as your birthday candles
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
