He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
