I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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