I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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