after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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