i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
