VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
