She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
