we're chasing vodka with high fives
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
