ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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