If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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