he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
