There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
