The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
