I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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