If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
