Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
