At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
