Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
