I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
