her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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