i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I checked into jail on foursquare
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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