apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
