you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
