woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
