There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
