I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
