So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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