Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
