it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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