Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
