She announced her abortion via fbk
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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