We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
