Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
