ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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