I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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