I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Couch. On fire.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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