hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
