i think my tv is drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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