i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
