I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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