All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
