i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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