what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
