so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
