to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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