Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
