oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
