probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
