wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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