Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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