Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I understand Curling. That high.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
